the Alternative Rivendell journey
by Took-Baggins
Summary: naughtiness, farting contests, and wizards that scream like little girls...Plz R&R!
1. Road to Rivendell

Disclaimer: we don't own Lotr…poo…  
  
This was written by my two friends, Liz (Vella Menel) and Kayla (Willow Vilya). I, of course am Lily Ithildin.  
  
Characters  
  
Frodo-Ringbearer  
  
Elijah-companion  
  
Sam-ditto  
  
Merry-ditto  
  
Pippin-double ditto  
  
Lily Ithildin-Keeper of the Rivendell bow  
  
Willow Vilya-Keeper of the Rivendell sword  
  
Strider-Aragorn the Ranger  
  
Vella Menel-his Elf maiden  
  
(plagiarism is a capitol offense, but we don't mind)  
  
One spring morning…  
  
The boys of Bag End awoke from their small encampment alongside the road in the dawn light. They stretched and yawned as they washed their tired faces in the cold creek nearby. Then Sam whipped up a quick breakfast of salt pork and the last of their bread stores.  
  
The five hobbits were already halfway done with their quest towards Rivendell with the Ring. They were all alone today; Tom Bombadil had left the night before to return to his maiden, Goldberry, in the forest.  
  
They started to pack up their items and plan for that day.  
  
"Why don't we travel through the Witch Wood?" asked Frodo as he stood up from the forest floor.  
  
"Isn't that where a Witch Elf lives?" asked Elijah, mildly curious as he stuffed a blanket into his pack.  
  
"Maybe the Witch Wood isn't the best area to travel through." Said Merry, slightly scared.  
  
"That's just a myth." Said Pippin, "Besides, Elves won't hurt us."  
  
"Yeah, but will they protect us from Black Riders?" said Sam quietly.  
  
"The Witch Wood will provide us with good hiding places and even if there are any, the Elves are bound to be friendly." Frodo said with a note of finality in his voice.  
  
"Well, you're the Ringbearer." Exclaimed Pippin with a grin.  
  
They made good time that day and made it to the Witch Wood by early evening. Once in the seclusion of the wood, they rested awhile and had a quick meal. After cleaning up a bit they decided to take a nap.  
  
When they awoke, all of them shared the weight of a strange feeling.  
  
"It's like eyes are on us." Said Elijah as he gazed at the surrounding trees. The others silently agreed with him and walked at a faster pace.  
  
Everything seemed to be silent, the leaves didn't rustle, the wind didn't sigh, and no creature stirred.  
  
BOOM! All of a sudden the five hobbits found themselves winded and on the ground.  
  
Frodo was the first to look up and the others gasped in unison as they also looked.  
  
Two strange hobbits were holding them down, one with a bow, and one with a broadsword. But the thing that amazed the boys the most was that their Captors were…girls.  
  
The one who spoke first was extremely eye-catching in these particular woods; she was wearing a long silk dress in all pink and a glowing necklace. She had stunning blue eyes and long, soft blonde curls that reached her waist. Her bow was held low and was pointed at Merry and Frodo's pale faces.  
  
"Who are you?" she questioned Frodo, who was closest.  
  
"Baggins" Frodo barely managed to squeak out.  
  
She lowered her bow and the girl next to her spoke for the first time. "Well, that settles it." She announced, removing a large knife she had held at Pippin, Sam, and Elijah's throats.  
  
The boys noticed her for the first time. She was a little shorter than her companion and had startling green eyes and long, sleek black hair. She was wearing a short green tunic and a glowing necklace like the blonde. She also wore many bracelets and a chain around her ankle.  
  
"May we ask who you are?" asked Elijah, who was eyeing the one in green.  
  
"I am Willow. This is Lily." Said Willow indifferently looking at the edges of her sword.  
  
"Why did you withdraw your weapons when he said Baggins?" asked Sam, whose curiousity was winning over fear.  
  
"Because we were looking for you. The Old Man at Rivendell sent us." Lily said politely.  
  
"Gandalf!" said Merry.  
  
"That's what his name was! Gandalf!" said Willow, snapping her fingers.  
  
The girls helped the other hobbits up and decided to discuss matters with them.  
  
"Why weren't Elves sent for us?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Gandalf said you could cope with us better than Elves." Lily told them.  
  
"Besides," said Willow loftily," we're better than Elves. We may have been raised by them, but we're much more fun, and sing a lot less."  
  
"Well, I bet you guys are hungry, so me and Willow will cook some sup for you."  
  
After a small supper of venison and melted cheese on flatbread, (big ole crackers) the little clan of hobbits talked past midnight next to the fire. As the group went to bed, Frodo found that he had an extreme liking for Lily. The interesting Willow also had plans of her own for another hobbit of the group.  
  
The little group finally fell into a peaceful slumber not knowing the challenges before them.  
  
When Frodo awoke he could smell the breakfast already cooking. He popped open his eyes and saw Lily and Sam crouched over a small fire cooking. Merry and Pippin were play fighting with the swords Tom Bombadil had given them and making a great clatter. Elijah was nowhere to be found.  
  
A loud "Brown pants!" echoed through the forest along with a silvery peal of laughter. Frodo spun around and looked up. Elijah and Willow were sitting in a stout tree giggling like school children.  
  
"oh, geez." Frodo sighed, "He's telling his jokes again!" Frodo groaned inwardly at all the jokes he had been told, then sat up and helped with breakfast.  
  
Later that morning they set off in the general direction towards Rivendell with the girls in the lead.  
  
"We should get there in about five days." Lily thought out loud.  
  
"I can't wait till I see Gandalf!" said Frodo merrily.  
  
"You must love him." Said Lily curiously.  
  
They talked on for awhile until they were interrupted by Merry and Pippin arguing.  
  
"four days!"  
  
"five days!"  
  
"No, four!"  
  
"No, five!"  
  
"Four!"  
  
"Willow, how many days til we reach Rivendell?"  
  
"Five days." Said Willow.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"See! I told you."  
  
"Shut up, Pippin. You did not."  
  
"Did so."  
  
"You mangy dog!"  
  
"Big cow!"  
  
"Pri…"  
  
Willow drew her sword. And that was the end of that conversation.  
  
That evening they found themselves walking in the rain. They were still in quite good spirits until a loud screeching came from behind them.  
  
They turned and saw it, a Black Rider high on his horse. At first it just stood there sniffing the air, then it lunged towards them screeching an unholy uproar.  
  
The hobbits turned their heels and fled, except for Willow and Lily. Willow drew her sword as if daring the Nazgul to come their way, and Lily started firing shot after shot into the demon beast.  
  
The Rider, unable to bear the pain of arrows into his body, stopped his pursuit and fled in the other direction. The girls stood for a second breathing then turned and fled after the others.  
  
The entire group turned and fled. They ran and ran until they reached a small inn called "the Prancing Pony".  
  
Once inside they were introduced to a pleasant man named Butterbur and asked for a room for them. He took the up a spirally staircase to a small room for them.  
  
They all gasped in unison as they saw two tall figures shrouded in black cloaks.  
  
"Who is that man?" Elijah asked.  
  
"I don't know what his right name is, but around here he's called Strider."  
  
"Ahem." Said the other figure.  
  
"Oh, and that's his Elven-maid, Vella Menel." Butterbur continued.  
  
"Leave us!" Strider said. Butterbur turned and scampered out of the room.  
  
Vella took off her cloak. Merry and Pippin's eyes widened collectively. She was wearing a black vest with black pants. Her blue-black hair was tied back tightly to reveal neatly pointed ears. She carried a large saber on her belt.  
  
"Hmm, they're not much are they?" she asked of Strider.  
  
"I beg your pardon!" Lily squeaked. She drew her bow quickly and ran in front of the group.  
  
"Easy, hobbit. I wasn't challenging you." Vella said quickly. "So it's true." She muttered.  
  
"What?" Willow demanded.  
  
"There are hobbits trained in Elven magic. I thought it was just lies."  
  
"You're not from Rivendell, are you?" Frodo asked.  
  
"No. I was born in Lothlorien." Vella replied.  
  
"We have to get you out of these rooms." Strider said urgently. "the Black Riders come."  
  
Brandishing their swords the two led the way to the upper rooms of the Prancing Pony.  
  
"Get into those beds." Vella ordered. "Oh no, Strider. I think we have trouble."  
  
"Is it the Nazgul?"  
  
"No, I don't think we have enough beds!" Vella regarded the hobbits; "I don't want any trouble out of any of you. I have an extremely keen sense of hearing."  
  
"Yes, Mistress Vella." They replied.  
  
"I wasn't expecting any trouble of you, but just in case." Vella drew her long pointed saber and sat down. She laid the sword across her knees.  
  
"You wouldn't dare think of using that?" Willow demanded.  
  
"The most I'll do is cut out bug chunks of your hair." Vella said seriously.  
  
Willow gasped and pulled the blanket over her head.  
  
Strider was the first to hear the inhuman shrieking as the Nazgul found the wrong room.  
  
"What are they?" Sam asked timidly.  
  
"they were o0nce men. Great kings of men, driven mad by Sauron. They are neither living nor dead."  
  
The hobbits shuddered. Vella leapt to her feet and pulled on her cloak. "I'm going to check for any damage." She said to Strider. "We really need to leave."  
  
"You would go out in the presence of the Nazgul?" Lily Whispered.  
  
"Of course." Vella said. "They're not hunting me." They watched her go.  
  
"Get ready to leave." Strider said quietly.  
  
Vella returned quickly. "Bad news, Aragorn. Every horse in town is gone."  
  
Strider shook his head. "We'll go on foot."  
  
Merry jumped up "Are you crazy? We can't make it to Rivendell on foot! Especially not with those those THINGS chasing us!"  
  
"We'll get there if we're fast enough, come hobbits, let us be quick. Vella urged.  
  
For three days and nights they walked for Rivendell. The hobbits grew weary quickly, but Strider and Vella were used to traveling and knew how to keep their strength up.  
  
By the time the group stopped for a break the little hobbits were exhausted. Vella and Strider left them for about five minutes and when they returned the hobbits were scattered about sleeping.  
  
"How sweet." Vella muttered, "Well, since they're already asleep we might as well make camp."  
  
"I guess so." Strider said as he squatted down to make a fire.  
  
They waited awhile before waking the hobbits to let them eat. After a quiet dinner they talked of their plans for the next day then decided to sleep till morning before traveling again. They crawled into their sleeping bags with only thoughts of tomorrow's traveling. Well, at least somewhere.  
  
Around midnight the hobbits were stirred out of their sleep by Vella's curses.  
  
"I think I heard something from that direction." Strider said pointing.  
  
"Where's Elijah and Willow?" Merry asked rubbing his eyes and sitting up.  
  
No one answered him, but Vella stood up and drew her sword and announced, "I'm going to go looking for them."  
  
"Be careful." Said Strider.  
  
"I'm always careful." She answered as she walked off into the direction he pointed.  
  
All of a sudden they heard a gasp, a shout, and much scuffling along with Vella's curses.  
  
Having no clue to what was going on, the group saw Vella returning with a smirk and holding the missing ones by the ears. Then dropping them on the ground.  
  
"I won't tell you what they were doing, to save them from embarrassment." Vella said.  
  
Everyone started laughing. Except Willow and Elijah, who were blushing furiously.  
  
Strider stood up. "It looks like we're going to have to separate you two. Willow, you sleep next to Vella, and Elijah, you sleep next to Sam." He continued, "Go to bed every one. We have a long day tomorrow."  
  
With that the group went to bed, some chuckling, and slept undisturbed until morning.  
  
They set off for Weathertop the next morning. Vella seemed to be in extremely good spirits. She walked on light feet and sang many songs from the Elves. The hobbits didn't seem to mind. The voices of the Elves were fairest to hear in all of Middle-Earth and Vella sang rather well for a warrior of her skill.  
  
"What is Weathertop anyway?" Pippin asked.  
  
"An ancient look out tower." Willow replied.  
  
"And a good place to camp." Strider said. The hobbits dropped their things. Vella remained on her feet looking around cautiously.  
  
"I'll takethe south, Strider. You take the north. There's something here I don't like."  
  
They set off in different directions. Vella looked over her shoulder. "No funny business any of you. Stay right here."  
  
Willow and Lily nodded, "We'll keep them in line, Mistress Vella."  
  
The Black Riders were waiting in the bushes. They saw the campfire the hobbits had made.  
  
"Put it out!" Frodo shrieked. But it was too late. The demonic figures closed in from all directions. Frodo panicked and slipped the Ring on his finger. He had managed to keep it hidden from the company. One of the Riders stabbed him in the shoulder with his blade.  
  
Vella heard them screaming. She jumped down from the tree she'd climbed to keep watch.  
  
"Aragorn!" she shouted. "Aragorn!"  
  
He was already there. Lily and Willow started fighting them off as best they could, but they were no match for the Nazgul. Vella fought like a whirlwind trying to protect the secret of the Ring.  
  
"Aragorn! Where is Frodo?"  
  
"Vella!" Sam shouted. He was crouched in a corner huddled over Frodo. Vella hurtled her torch at the last standing Rider and ran over.  
  
"Is he hurt badly?" she asked Strider.  
  
"He's been stabbed with a Morgul blade." He replied.  
  
"Than we haven't much time." Vella exclaimed. She pulled back the hobbit's shirt to get a look at his wound. "Drat. Elijah, Sam, do you know what the kingsfoil plant is?"  
  
"It's a weed.'' Said Sam.  
  
''It may stop the poison long enough for us to get him to Rivendell.'' Vella told him. The hobbits ran off to find the plant.  
  
''Vella, you should send word to Glorfindel about this.'' Willow said.  
  
''No thank you I can handle it.'' Vella snapped. She was trying hard to get out of her brother's shadow. Glorfindel was a great warrior and she was just…Vella.  
  
''Vella!'' Lily protested.  
  
''Oina!'' Vella commanded in her native tongue. ''Be calm and no harm will come to you.''  
  
Elijah and Sam came back with the kingsfoil. Strider chewed them up and rubbed them on the wound.  
  
''Is he going to die?'' Willow asked.  
  
''I don't know yet.'' Strider replied.  
  
''Can he be moved?'' Vella asked.  
  
''Yes!'' Strider said. He picked up the hobbit and spoke. ''Get packed as fast as you can. Leave behind all you can spare.'' He said regarding Pippin. They were packed in a flash. Strider led the way. Vella brought up the rear with sword drawn.  
  
The company continued for two days without stopping for a break.  
  
''Aaye! Lle anta amin to Dunedain!'' came a clear voice. The hobbits recognized immediately who it was for no voices were more beautiful than those of the Elves.  
  
''You came just in time, Glorfindel.'' Stider said.  
  
''Mani marie?'' Glorfindel asked still in his native tongue. ''Elandill!'' he exclaimed his eyes wandering to the girls. ''Periennath!''  
  
''It is safe to speak in the common tongue brother.'' Vella said. ''Can you take Frodo to Rivendell?''  
  
''Let me.'' Strider insisted.  
  
''No, Aragorn. I am the faster rider.'' Glorfindel said. ''Come, Vella.''  
  
Vella jumped on Glorfindel's horse. She held the unconscious Frodo in her arms.  
  
''There are five wraiths behind you. Where the other four are, I do not know.''  
  
Glorfindel kicked his horse into a gallop and guided him down the long path to Rivendell.  
  
Back at the site, Aragorn was surrounded by six angry hobbits.  
  
''Are you crazy?!'' Pippin shouted.  
  
''Those things are still after us!'' Merry finished for him.  
  
''Lily, you are the keeper of the bow of Rivendell?'' Aragorn asked.  
  
''Yes!''  
  
''Willow, you are the keeper of the sword of Rivendell?''  
  
''I am!''  
  
''Now is the time to put them to good use!'' The two female hobbits dove on him and knocked him to the ground.  
  
''Before we do anything for you, you will answer some questions!'' Lily said.  
  
''I don't have a choice, do I?''  
  
''Who are you?'' Willow asked. ''Why did Vella call you Aragorn? And why did Glorfindel call you Dunedain?''  
  
''I will answer your questions when there is time. Now I stress we have not a moment to waste!''  
  
Vella and Glorfindel rode hard for the ford. About a mile from the river, Vella glanced back over her shoulder and saw the Nine were following them.  
  
''Glorfindel! We've got trouble!'' she shouted.  
  
''Noro lim, Asfaloth!'' Glorfindel pleaded to his horse. The gray immediately put on more speed. They came to the river quickly. Asfaloth splashed through the water but the black horses refused to go further. Glorfindel dismounted to go and warn his people.  
  
''Give us the Halfling, She-Elf!'' the leader shouted at Vella.  
  
Vella drew her saber. ''If you want him; come and claim him!'' she closed her eyes just as the riders began to cross the river.  
  
''Nin o chitaeglir beth daer, Rimms nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer!'' she pleaded. ''Waters of the Misty Mountains, listen to the great word! Flow waters of Loudwater against the Ringwraiths.''  
  
A great wave came down from the mountains, drowning the Ringwraiths.  
  
''Oh, God!'' Vella whispered. Frodo was slipping away. ''No, Frodo, no!'' she begged. ''Just a little while longer!''  
  
she picked up the unconscious hobbit and carried him up to her father's house.  
  
Frodo awoke to the sound of an argument.  
  
''It was a foolish thing that you did Vella! You could have been killed!'' Glorfindel protested.  
  
''I am an immortal Elf, like you.'' Vella shot back.  
  
''Even Elves can be killed.'' Elrond, her father reminded her.  
  
''Father, I cannot live in Rivendell and be sheltered my whole life. I was finishing my training from Aragorn that's all.''  
  
Glorfindel snorted. ''Would you like to challenge me brother?'' Vella asked him.  
  
''Vella…'' a small voice croaked in the next room.  
  
''Pardon me.'' Vella said. She walked into the next room.  
  
''Glad you're back.'' Vella said cheerfully.  
  
''What happened?''  
  
''I'll tell you later/ there's someone outside to see you.'' Vella opened the door and beckoned to the man to come in.  
  
''Gandalf!'' Frodo exclaimed. The grey wizard smiled. Vella politely excused herself and went to Aragorn's to watch the Ranger sleep.  
  
THE COUNCIL OF ELROND  
  
Representatives from three of the races of Middle-Earth met in the open council the next day. Vella was the only female Elf summoned to attend.  
  
Elrond opened the council by describing their predicament. Vella had always been amazed by the wisdom and leadership of her father.  
  
''Bring forth the Ring, Frodo.'' Elrond commanded. The hobbit brought out the golden ring and laid it on the stone pedestal. Vella thought for a moment that she heard it whispering to her. She shook her head. The council argued over what to do with the Ring. Dwarvish, Elvish, and common speech all mingled into one. Vella heard a rustle in the bushes and directed her senses toward it. The hobbits were hiding. Listening to everything.  
  
''I will take the Ring to Mordor!'' Frodo shouted. Vella stood. She knew she could not go along to protect him. No amount of arguing with hr father would change that.  
  
And so the council was chosen. One member who should have gone along was left behind. Vella of the House of Elrond.  
  
The hobbit girls were angry. They had come all this way to protect the Ring and now they weren't going to get to go on the adventure of their lives.  
  
''It's not fair!'' Willow complained to Elijah. ''We're just as good as they are!''  
  
''It's dangerous!'' Frodo told Lily. ''The less people we take along the better.''  
  
''SEX.'' Said Merry.  
  
''What?'' asked Lily.  
  
''That would solve all of our problems!'' Frodo said he took Lily by the hand and they scampered off smiling to themselves. Sam and Pippin discretely left the room.  
  
…Meanwhile, in the house of Elrond…  
  
Aragorn and Vella were busy concocting their own brand of naughtiness. Glorfindel and Elrond had left the house due to an extremely loud level of noise. They met up with Bilbo and Gandalf outside.  
  
''Hello, Elrond.'' Bilbo said. He raised his finger as if to make a point and a loud noise was heard by all.  
  
''My God, Bilbo! You have been drinking too much ale!'' said Gandalf who repeated the offense.  
  
''You're going to hurt yourself old man!'' Glorfindel said. ''I'll show you how it's done.'' He used his Elven magic to concoct a grotesque display of flatulence but Elrond beat him to it.  
  
''That's a warrior's fart?'' he asked.  
  
''Praise for Elrond Halfelven!'' Bilbo declared. ''If only Celeborn were here…'' he said wistfully.  
  
'' No wonder he's managed to keep the orcs out of Lothlorian .'' Glorfindel said.  
  
''Where is that dangerous daughter of yours, Elrond?" Gandalf asked.  
  
''In my house with Aragorn.''  
  
Bilbo's eyes went wide, ''Are you sure that's a good idea?''  
  
''She's only 2,397. She can make her own decisions.'' Elrond said and farted again.  
  
''Oh well, then.'' Bilbo said. ''They do look very nice together.''  
  
''Aragorn, Narsil is digging into my lip.'' Vella said. She shifted away from him. They were finished with their little bit of recreation and had dresses again.  
  
''Sorry.'' Aragorn said. He took off the mighty sword of his great-great grandfather many times. ''Is that better?''  
  
Vella rolled away. ''I don't think it's fair that they won't let us go.''  
  
''It's dangerous.''  
  
''I thrive on danger.''  
  
''Give it up, Vella.. Your father has lived many lifetimes and is very wise.''  
  
''Wiser than me, right?''  
  
''Yes.''  
  
Vella leaned over and kissed Aragorn one last time. The company left early the next morning while the women looked on.  
  
The hobbit girls sighed audibly. Vella put her hand on her sword.  
  
''Come on, girls. Let's go to Isenguard. I have plans for Saruman. It's time we had an adventure of our own!''  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!…hopefully 


	2. Vella, Lily, and Willow, the Three Rider...

"I wish Vella would hurry up." Lily muttered. They were to ride in secret to Isenguard, and then find the Fellowship to share any information they happened to find.  
  
Willow was about to reply when Vella suddenly strode up to them with three horses in tow.  
  
"These are the swiftest steeds to be found." She said as she mounted Asfaloth. Lily and Willow also mounted before the trio soundlessly disappeared into the night.  
  
"We should be there by tomorrow, if we don't hurry." Vella said as she sat next to the hobbits. They had been riding for many days; it seemed as if they had not been missed. Willow glanced at her and mumbled through her food.  
  
They had been eating for nearly half an hour when suddenly a piercing screech ripped through the air, freezing their very blood.  
  
Willow frantically stuffed all the food in her pack, while the other two scrambled for their belongings. Within minutes they were mounted, and they fire was out save for a flaming branch each of them held.  
  
"We must hurry! The Riders are distressed!" Vella took off through the trees.  
  
"That's just splendid!" Lily muttered as she and Willow followed.  
  
They fled at a gallop through the darkness, fear flooding through them. They soon heard another screech, more distant but just as frightening as the first. They sped up, heedless of their course.  
  
After some time the screeching ceased and Vella called them to a stop. Before them stood an immense black tower. It was Orthanc…they had reached Isenguard.  
  
Dawn broke and Willow pulled the others behind a large bush as they saw a large group leaving the field.  
  
"The Uruk-Hai…"Lily said with a mixture of hatred and disgust.  
  
"They do not fear the sun."  
  
Willow squeaked, "We must warn the Fellowship!" she said as the group passed them. The others agreed and they left as soon as was possible.  
  
They rode for many days searching. Eventually they had nearly given up hope of ever finding the others.  
  
However one day as they sat eating, Willow suddenly sprang to her feet throwing her food in Lily's face.  
  
"Did you hear that?"  
  
They listened as the voices approached. Vella smiled, "It sounds like..."  
  
"Frodo and Pippin!!" Lily interrupted her.  
  
Willow and Vella had to hold her back as the Fellowship approached. They were mortally afraid that she had become a Rabid Fan Girl…  
  
They guys stood stunned see them for a moment…until Lily broke loose. She immediately tackled Frodo and Pippin (who didn't really look all that upset by getting tackled by a beautiful girl). She started squealing, "we found you! We found you!"  
  
Willow, however, had controlled herself. She grinned mischievously. "Hello, Elijah…"  
  
Vella rolled her eyes, "Hello, Aragorn. It's been awhile since we've had- er, met."  
  
The girls were busy forming naughty plans in their minds…until they noticed the rest of the Fellowship grinning at them, apparently very amused.  
  
Lily wrapped her arms around Frodo and Pippin. "We'll take care of that later."  
  
Vella turned to Gandalf and the others. "We have some information for you."  
  
"It's bad!" Willow almost squeaked from beside Elijah.  
  
"As I was saying…We have ridden to Isenguard-"  
  
"YOU!?" Gimli interrupted.  
  
"Yes, US!" Lily waved an arrow threateningly at him. He shut up.  
  
"We meant to go there, but we found it quite by accident."  
  
"How in the name of Minas Tirith can you do that?" Boromir scoffed.  
  
Willow drew her sword and tried to look threatening.  
  
"We just DID!" Vella nearly shouted, she was getting quite angry. "You know the Uruk-Hai that we heard about?"  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"They do not fear the sun."  
  
"How!?"  
  
"They are orcs bred with goblin men, or so we've heard."  
  
They fell into a silence, unsure of what to do. Meanwhile Willow, Lily, Frodo, Pippin, and Elijah were nowhere to be seen.  
  
No. I am not planning a threesome!  
  
R&R makes every one happy! 


	3. Goodbyes and Flatulence

Okay, please R&R. I've only gotten two so far and that's only from Willow Vilya and Vella Menel (BraveSirRobin). And the Willow/Elijah section is by Willow Vilya.  
  
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Elijah and Willow were walking along through the trees when they spied a lovely lake a decided to stop. They sat by the water in the cool shade talking idly. Willow stood up and reached for some sandwiches in a pocket. "Hullo, Merry." Willow said as he walked past them. "Hullo." he replied "What are you up to?" "Just a little picnic." Elijah replied waving the sandwiches "want to join?" "Nah, I'm going to meet up with Gimli and Legolas." He said and walked off. As the sun rose in the sky it got unbearably hot and the hobbits got uncomfortable. As Elijah lay in the grass propped up on his elbows he asked, "Do you want to swim?" but Willow was already in the water, her clothes in a pile at the shore. "Heh heh." she called for Elijah who was undressing and diving in. They swam for a while in the sparkling water cooling themselves off. Then a lovely idea struck Willow and she swam over to Elijah. She slid her wet little arms around him. They shared a kiss and then……naughty bits  
  
Lily giggled as she climbed out of the bushes where she had been hiding with Pippin (Frodo had agreed to stay away). She saw Willow and Elijah nearby, looking quite happy, and Vella and Aragorn were nowhere to be seen.  
  
They went and joined the rest of the fellowship while waiting.  
  
"Where are you going to go?" Merry asked as Lily wedged herself between Pippin and Frodo.  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
Willow smiled, "We'll go where ever Vella goes." (Elijah didn't look happy)  
  
"How about you guys?"  
  
Gandalf tried to look important. "We shall pass over Caradhras, and if all else fails we shall go through the mines of Moria."  
  
There was a long silence. Lily squeaked. "You had better take care of my guys! Merry and Sam too!"  
  
Gandalf rolled his eyes, "We'll leave that to Boromir."  
  
Currently Aragorn and Vella appeared. "Lily, Willow, we have things to do while the guys are on their quest."  
  
Frodo looked at Lily suspiciously. "What kind of things?"  
  
"An errand for my father." Vella said, saving Lily. No body seemed that eager to separate. They ate quickly (except the hobbits) and prepared to leave. Holding in their unhappiness, they watched the Fellowship disappear over a hill.  
  
Vella turned to the hobbits. "We are going back to Isenguard. I think we should have a talk with Saruman."  
  
"How can we get in without getting caught?" Willow inquired, her voice quaking.  
  
"I think we can manage, after all…an Elf and two hobbits should be rather easy."  
  
Once again they mounted the ponies and set off towards the black tower.  
  
Meanwhile somewhere between Rivendell and Lothlorian:  
  
"This is MY territory!" Celeborn glared at Elrond as he finished his Oreo.  
  
"This is a free area. Besides, I'll be gone once you're done eating."  
  
"How DARE you!" Celeborn grinned evilly as he felt his stomach rumble.  
  
"No! No, please…anything but that! I beg you!"  
  
"Now you'll wish that you were a full-blooded elf!" he grunted as awesome flatulence disrupted the peace of the forest.  
  
"I-I-I'm sorry! Please, help me…" Elrond promptly fainted from the bodily gases of the other.  
  
"There it is…we shall find a way in tomorrow." Vella told the others. Lily and Willow promptly sat and began digging through the food. Vella rolled her eyes, "you two are going to gain weight eating the way you do."  
  
"We're hobbits…" Lily said without looking up.  
  
"…It's what we do." Willow finished for her.  
  
"Whatever." Vella sat next to them and took her share. After awhile Willow looked up.  
  
"Vella?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Umm……"  
  
"Just say it, Willow."  
  
"Exactly what are we going to do once we get into Orthanc?" she stopped eating to stare at her elf friend.  
  
Vella thought for a moment before Lily spoke up. "Blow Saruman to smithereens!?"  
  
"Er…not quite. We shall have a little talk and find what he plans to do."  
  
"That's it?" Lily said sounding disappointed.  
  
"We could deal him a little pain while we're at it, I suppose."  
  
Lily and Willow grinned, delighted. 


End file.
